A rat!

I am in what has to be one of the worst internet cafes in existence. This computer is so clapped out that if you open more than one window at a time the whole thing freezes and you have to get the chatty teen who´s manning this pulsating communications hub to turn it off and on again. However there´s a nice lively pawn shop across the road blasting out vallenato, and the teen is bringing great joy into my life by mercilessly firing into my soon-to-be flatmate Chantal, so life is quite good.

We´re in the middle of trying to find a flat, which is a deeply unpleasant business in Colombia. You need a Colombian national who owns a property to stake their whole house as a guarantee that you won´t take the piss. Imagine how delightful it is trying to find someone to do this for you when you´ve only been here a week and admittedly know some wonderful people but more in a "bottle of aguardiente and let´s teach the Glaswegian how to dance" way, rather than them wanting to stake their entire property on my behaving myself properly. Ach well, there´s one that we might be able to get which is a big palace in La Soledad for something like 80 bucks a month, i´ll keep you posted.

Last night i went to the opening of a bar with some chums, they reccommended some kind of typical Colombian cocktail that was the speciality of the bar, and when it arrived i kid you not it was in a milk bottle. A big milk bottle. Aye they´re keen on the old pints of cocktails here. They were all total charmers, i´ve landed on my feet here because there aren´t that many foreigners, so when folk meet you they´re really interested, and then if you say you like Colombian food as well they´re totally in love with you. Although i think they think i´m a bit of a pervert for having eaten the spit-roast guinea pig, citing its revolting ratty appearance as the reason why none of them have ever tried it. Aw talking of rats! I was in the toen centre walking past a really nice looking patisserie, with waitresses dressed in pink and black frilly aprons who were all sweeping the floor and joking around, when suddenly two of them start screaming and clambering up on the chairs, all the time shouting "A RAT! A RAT!!" and hitting the ground with their brooms, it was like being in an episode of Tom & Jerry. Magic.

No sofa stories this time, although yesterday i did see three motorcyclists having a hilarious slapstick punch-up in front of an empanada stall, and because they all have to wear special reflective jackets with their licence plate numbers on them they look like giant Lego men, all pishing themselves laughing and shoving each other around.